Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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