You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
