i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
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