why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
