You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
