i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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