Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
