I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
