Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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