We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You may now shotgun with the bride
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
