so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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