I need help removing her.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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