im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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