Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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