I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
