I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
