There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
