Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
