Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize