could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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