We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
did i walk over a car last night?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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