I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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