those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
