Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
