are you so shy because you have an std?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I checked into jail on foursquare
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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