he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
