so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
