smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
