Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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