Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
