Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
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we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
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She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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