Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
