I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
