jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
