so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
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Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I will pee on everything he values.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
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You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I did not marry a roomba.
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