Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
