dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize