i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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