oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
