I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
