YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
