Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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