are you still at the devil's house?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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