She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
