how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
