I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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