I just threw up on my dentist
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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