At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
