Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.