I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...