At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
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She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
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He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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