im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
