so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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