I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
