Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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