So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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