Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
