the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Found the puke drawer
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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