On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
